I posted this picture on A Year Of Motherhood yesterday. We don't usually caption our images, but I felt the need to caption this one.
Yesterday was a big day on a personal level for me. I felt completely drained; emotionally, physically and mentally. I wanted to capture me, as I was, drained, but looking forward. Saying goodbye to beliefs that were so deeply ingrained I didn't even know they existed. Yesterday marked a day of moving on, releasing, and truly being excited about it, and excited for my family.
I know, I can hear you saying, "I came here to read about tattoo's, this has got nothing to do with tattoo's!"
Well, lately I've been thinking about getting a tattoo that represented my children, but I'll get back to that later.
So, anyway, I took a few photo's, and as I was going through them I noticed something significant. You see that pigmentation up there beside my right eye? I have not really noticed just how big it is. I normally wear glasses, which cover it, and it's in just the position where I can't see it in its entirety when I look in the mirror.
I have not always had that mark. It's a birthmark of sorts, but it's not my birthmark. It's the birthmark of my three children combined. Without them, I would not have this mark. My body hasn't changed a whole lot since being pregnant with three children. My weight fluctuates a little, but in fact, I like it, and certainly appreciate it more now than I ever did (apart from the boob droppage, that is).
But this mark, this is something that I could not change, even if I wanted to. This mark started with my first pregnancy, and grew with each child.
This mark is the tattoo that represents my children perfectly. Ok, I wouldn't normally choose to have a tattoo on my face*, but if I look into it further, maybe it's close to my eyes, so it's close to my soul. (Yeah, I know how wanky that sounds!)
If you're going to tell me I'm copping out of getting a tattoo (which I still may get) because of the pain. Well, I can guarantee you that birthing three children with no drugs is a whole lot more painful than having yourself etched with ink. And yes I have been through both experiences!
This photo represents so much to me. It's me. Me with the marks of my children. Me with the freckles and broken capillaries. Me with the laugh lines and smudged mascara. This is me.
Has having children changed your body in ways you cannot change? Have your children given you a tattoo of sorts? * This was actually one of the first questions my Mother-In-Law asked Johnny when he told his parents about me and that I was from New Zealand. "Does she have tattoo's all over her face?". :/
If you're new to A Year Of Motherhood, you can catch up here.
"A portrait of my loves once a week, every week in 2014"
Ruby:: In the late afternoon sun
Jenson:: He makes all day long, normally with paper, but this was Stew Juice
Mila:: In the afternoon sun
Johnny:: A surprise Fathers Day present. Jenson wanted to do this for Fathers Day, we all had a good laugh. I hope I didn't set a precedent for next Mothers Day.
While the kids were still a bit young to enjoy and understand the concept of "running around chasing a ball", by the end of the game the atmosphere had swept them up, and I can see this being something we enjoy as a family for years to come.